“When are you gonna finish your book?” “Hey, what’s the latest on your book?” “Hey, Randal about the book, is it finished yet?”
I was warned by authors and would-be authors to never tell people that you are going to write a book because the questions would never end. They were right. They didn’t.
A lot has happened over the last couple of years to give you the perfect excuse for my delay. With all the reasons I could list for you, one truly rises above them all. I found the perfect distraction. I fell in love.
But I knew it was finally time to write after returning to NJ in January 2022 after many years away.
It was around the Fall of 2020 that I began to have thoughts and feelings of potentially moving back to New Jersey. The Covid pandemic had been raging on for some months and like everyone, I was questioning my life and my future. I can’t help but think of the irony because it was only the previous year in October 2019 that I walked into my office in Honolulu with some exciting news to share with my colleagues. I was being offered the opportunity to take my career to a higher degree. I was being offered the chance to formally begin the process to become an official Diplomat. I had, for several years, been working throughout the world on awesome projects with the United Nations and taking on fulfilling service-oriented responsibilities. But this would be the next dimension in my career journey. The opportunity to officially represent the United States, the world’s most powerful country. The pinnacle of my field.
Becoming a Diplomat is like stepping into a captivating world of intrigue and elegance, where the corridors of power intertwine with the thrill of exploration. It is a journey that takes you through the pages of history and catapults you into the heart of global affairs. Diplomats are at the forefront of international relations and politics. They engage in high-stakes negotiations, contribute to important decisions, and represent their country's interests on the global stage. The chance to influence global events and shape policies can be incredibly exhilarating.
Diplomats interact with a wide range of people, including government officials, diplomats from other countries, business leaders, academics, and civil society representatives. These connections not only contribute to the success of their missions but also create lasting personal and professional networks for a lifetime.
There are the travel perks and luxurious comforts. Diplomats are often entitled to business or first-class travel, ensuring that the exhaustion of long flights is met with the restful embrace of spacious seats and attentive service. Additionally, diplomatic immunity ensures a swift passage through customs and immigration, making the tiresome ordeal of airport security a breeze. Let’s not forget the extravagant social events with ever-present reception dinners and all the trappings of diplomatic prestige. These events, hosted by embassies and diplomatic missions, are extravagant affairs adorned with glimmering chandeliers and the clink of crystal glasses.
And what about those diplomatic license plates that I would be mandated to put on the car I drove? Those special plates not only identify you as a representative of your country but also offer certain immunities and privileges on the road. Traffic rules, parking restrictions, and toll booths become less of a concern, granting diplomats an easier path through the bustling streets of any city in the world. Diplomatic immunity meant that I could not be charged with a crime in the country I served nor have to pay certain taxes. As you can see, diplomatic life is special. Unique.
Over the better part of a decade, I have lived, worked, and traveled all over the world. My mind wanders to my first overseas posting with the United Nations in Kingston, Jamaica.
Signs of the blessings to come my way came early. On only my second day there, I was invited by staff to an awards ceremony. There, I met Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller, Usain Bolt, and the world's fastest woman Shelly-Ann Fraser Pryce. Each day after brought new discoveries, each moment an opportunity to immerse myself in the rich tapestry of Jamaican culture. The land of my family heritage. As part of the United Nations mission, my days were dedicated to working with local communities and organizations, collaborating on projects to uplift the lives of those in need.
My mind wanders to the year I lived in Barbados. Oh, Barbados! Living in Barbados taught me to embrace life with a sense of ease and contentment. The island's laid-back atmosphere and "liming" culture—taking the time to relax, enjoy good company, and appreciate the simple pleasures—were transformative.
My mind wanders to my trips to Greece, Italy, Thailand, Russia, and beyond which I will write much more about soon…
Hawaii, however, ruined me for the rest of my life. Ruined me in the best of ways. It became the final environment, the final test I would ever need to see and experience and to know, what truly is important in life. What to value. What and who to be around. What and who to discard of. Hawaii culture prizes authenticity and genuineness. It values peace and tranquility. It spews out the dramatic, the materialistic, the gossipy. Hawaii doesn’t do drama.
HAWAII… the mere mention of its name evokes a sense of wonder. It is a place where the veil between reality and dreams grows thin, where the boundaries of time and space blur, and where the essence of paradise dances on the tip of every palm tree. What makes Hawaii so special?
First and foremost, it is the land itself that sets Hawaii apart. It’s the picture-perfect beaches stretching as far as the eye can see and the powdery white sands which gently flow daily by the turquoise waves. It's the vibrant colors of tropical blooms and the lush greenery of the rainforests. This jewel in the middle of the Pacific Ocean boasts a beauty so profound that it transcends the boundaries of anything I had experienced before. From the moment you step foot on its shores, a harmonious symphony of sensations envelopes you, leaving an everlasting imprint on your soul. The allure of Hawaii lies not only in its picturesque landscapes but an undefinable energy and force which tends to humble everyone who lives there. It’s as if the energy that permeates from the land itself reminds you daily just how blessed you are to be there. At any given moment, at any time of the day or night you stop for a second and say “Wow, I actually live here?”
I met people who came to vacation in Hawaii for a few days and never left. People who left vacationing returned home and told their family and employers they would be leaving in X amount of time, packed their bags, and moved to Hawaii. There are countless of those stories.
It is with the backdrop of these years of utter fulfillment and happiness that my thoughts took on a serious undertone in the Fall of 2020; when I began talking to my family about possibly moving back. I knew the decisions I would make at this crossroads would form the next chapters of my life for years to come. Could I really leave Hawaii and my career in International Affairs and Travel? My friends in Hawaii thought maybe I’d lost a few screws in the head. Why even consider that?
There was only ONE way I could ever really consider it… The opportunity to serve, lead, and truly make an impact in my local church and community back in Englewood, NJ.
Yet I knew it would not be so simple. Let me let you into an ever-present conflict that all those who leave their familiar surroundings encounter. This ever-present conflict was always a topic of conversation during my years in Hawaii. Not from those born and raised there but for the many that move there from all over the world.
Whenever people talk about finding their purpose, joy, and happiness abroad, away from what they left behind they always in the same vein talk about the conflict that arises from the realization that the happiness they found on their journey away will probably never be able to be duplicated or reconciled back in their homes. Yes, they miss family and friends, (Some don’t miss anyone) but their happiness, their joy, and their true fulfillment did not come until they left.
When I arrived in New Jersey that January 2022, these realities became clear.
Returning back home after years away was a journey filled with mixed emotions, excitement, and nervousness. As I stepped off the plane and took in the familiar environment of my hometown, memories came flooding back, and I was greeted by the warm embrace of loved ones I hadn't seen in years. It felt like a long-awaited reunion with a part of myself that I had left behind.
Yet, beneath the surface of joy and familiarity, a conflict simmered within me. My time away had been filled with adventures, personal growth, and the discovery of a profound sense of happiness that I had never experienced before. The world had become my oyster, and every city and country visited and lived in, held the promise of new experiences and the thrill of the unknown. But as I stood there, back in Englewood, NJ, in the town that had shaped my earliest memories, I couldn't help but wonder how I would reconcile the happiness I had found away from home with the life I had left behind.
The conflict arose from the stark contrast between the person I had become during my international work and travel and the roles and expectations that awaited me at home. My time away challenged me to embrace my individuality, pursue my dreams with unwavering determination, and prioritize my God-given purpose. But back home, the well-trodden path of the old familiar norms beckoned, and I feared that the happiness I had found away from home might not fit within the confines of the life that had been laid out for me.
I had an answer though within the past to look to that provided me some wisdom. There was an unforeseen interlude that brought my time abroad to an abrupt end. It was August 2014, on a beautiful sunny day in Barbados. I was at Limegrove Lifestyle Centre, one of my favorite places to unwind in the middle of the day during lunchtime. Nestled amidst the vibrant hues of the Caribbean, it’s an architectural masterpiece that sits along a stretch of palm trees swaying gently in the warm breeze, welcoming visitors to a world of indulgence and charm.
The phone rings ”Hey Dad, how’s it going?” “Not Good…” My dad informed me that the doctor had given him bad news on his health and everything about the sound in his voice and the way his words came out made clear how serious it was.
Returning to New Jersey from Barbados, I found my dad to be very concerned about his diagnosis. I, at this time, became very active in assisting him to his doctor’s appointments and driving him wherever he needed to go. I took on preaching at the church and became much more active in the day-to-day administrative duties.
It was during that time that I began to already come to terms with something I carried years later to the present day writing of this Blog Post: not only was I a very different person than when I left; but my Christian faith had grown and matured. As I took on more responsibilities at the church, I came to realize that I could actually live a fulfilling life back in New Jersey. But I trusted then, as I do now, that New Jersey would give rise to an opportunity to enter into an even greater and more exciting chapter, where I could feel a sense of enthusiasm and passion about being there. Where I could be free to serve and lead by BEING AUTHENTICALLY ME. It felt possible at that moment, and at that time, that I could make a significant impact in my local church and community. I said YES and God said, “Just Be Yourself.”